I cannot believe how fast the time went since my last post.. the days just seem to whizz by even faster now that I am not working full time. Happily also, it is getting us closer to the time that my granddaughter will have her little boy and I will be a great grandmother then... He is due on October 25th , so not long to go now. Honestly once one thing is settled, then another upset happens. My eldest boy who I am planning to visit in Feb next year was utterly bereft when his wife told him last sunday that she was no longer wanting to be his wife. That for years she had tried to get the feelings back, but they were never going to , and so it was time to be apart. He said, that sounds like you want us to separate and she said yes... My son was bowled over by this latest development. Since she had been pregnant with their first child, her attitude towards him had changed, and then a whole year later they tried again, and of course she got pregnant again and had another son. Despite all his efforts and the fact that he tried to be the best husband and father ever, she feels its time to pull the plug although she cannot fault him in any way, and says he was always the best..
I understand that some people develop a feeling that is beyond their control after they have had children and no longer feel enamoured of their partners..particularly amongst men, when their wives have become mothers... I just never heard it applied to women too... but I think this is what has happened, and my son has to deal with it best that he can. She had a life plan all written down about what was going to happen by certain years of her life, and she achieved all that by marrying my boy and having the children. If it was a psychological reaction to mother hood and parent hood, she might have benefited by talking to experts who might have helped, but now she refuses anything to do with counselling She has proved to be a wonderful mother, but I dont know if she is truly thinking how this situation is going to impact on those little boys. All too common these days, the children who are the ones that suffer the most I think,.no matter how old you are when it happens.
The day of their marriage, I watched them exchange vows and I could see from her face that she was so deeply in love with him, then motherhood changed all that and very little happened between them for a whole year after the baby came. Then they tried to resurrect the feelings, and the next baby came. Now she feels nothing and cannot put the blame on anyone, just lets move on and change our lives.
Given that they live in Australia, he has to find out his situation regarding staying, if his marriage is over, and if he has to leave, it will be a huge burden on him in keeping contact with his sons...What a terrible thing to happen at this stage of all their lives, but I can only be in touch as much as I can to listen and send love all the time..
time so fast
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