Wednesday, 7 September 2016

Its now wednesday 7th September, evening... so the rambles might be timed other than daytime.... we are back from seeing our grandson after his first day at big school He will be 12 in january and this term moved to another school. It was good to see him in his new uniform, and he seemed very calm and collected when he returned after his first full day there. He has a walk that takes him out of the village where he lives.. and it takes him around three quarters of an hour to get to the school. Along the way he stops at various houses to collect his fellow students and they all get to school together. I was very impressed with how calm he was after school > I hope that he continues to like it. He is in the upper section for all subjects, so that pleased his grandad mightily.

We listen to the programme The Archers on Radio 4 every night and have done for years and years. We are now thoroughly engrossed in the episodes that contain a trial with Helen Archer who attacked her abusive husband and is now on trial for her life. She didn't kill him, but certainly thought that she had. Her relationship was very fraught, but cleverly he had worked the relationship so that she was unable to tell anyone that matters were wrong It touches on the subject of abusive relationships and coersive behaviour by the husband. It has created quite a furore in the papers and is absolutely spell binding wondering how it is all going to turn out in the end.

What a lot of people do not realise, thinking that their husband or wife's behaviour is because they are looking after them and protecting them, they could be in a similar abusive relationship without really understanding, which is possibly why this particular radio play has had such an affect, and the help lines are full of enquiries.  When you live close with a person it is hard to understand what they might be doing to you... and gradually over the years, your own perspective is worn away and only their one remains. You have stopped thinking for yourself and centre all your thoughts on creating the perfect home and environment for your partner to the detriment of everything else and family .

The real shocker of the episode on the radio was when the wife cried out that he raped her over and over despite her feelings she was not yet ready to have another child..raping her until she conceived finally. I bet that this is not an unknown fact that happens in a lot of relationships.. but its horrific to hear it said out loud. Of course it was never discussed, and besides, if you are married you have to comply with your husband's wishes... or  do you? A never ending argument, but certainly food for thought.. because it was only very recently that rape has been agreed can happen within a marriage, before it was totally ignored...

I'm sure that in my past with my first husband there were times when I felt I had to agree against my wishes to have to make love to him,, but when you are young you want to please your man all the time...luckily it never was an issue like a forceable rape...

I do hope that these days the men and boys and women and girls are more aware of what is acceptable and what is not, within a relationship.. [there's certainly enough information about the right way to treat people floating about for anyone to understand... ]
lets hope our children will behave in a good and decent way to their partners and teach their own  kids to truly value their partner in life, and give them true love and cherish them properly.

It will be interesting to see how the trial progresses and I bet that when it is over on friday, we shall all be left hanging until the next episode to find out what the verdict is going to be,...

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